Toddler-ese and Changes

In Harvey Karp's Book The happiest Toddler on the Block, he compares the toddler stage of human development to Chimpanzees. He talks about using fewer words to communicate with your toddler. For example, instead of saying "ohh hunny you bumped your head, I'm so sorry, come here and let me kiss it better." Just say, hurt head, hurt head, hurt head and keep repeating.

He also talks about matching emotion to show that you understand their level of intensity. For example, if they are in the throws of tantrum and you respond in a sing-song, light-hearted way that can be really annoying for them.

As I have started to do this it does feel strange. It reminds me a lot of training Otis (our dog). It bugs me a little to think of a child this way but at the same time it makes sense that our brains grow and evolve and need a solid foundation before we develop more complex language.

Using Toddler-ese for me seems to work for avoiding tantrums and lessening them when they start but I'm not going to walk around all day talking to Max like a he's a dog or a chimp. The book doesn't suggest doing that either. I'm also signing more with Max to help our communication. I had started that a long time ago but got lazy with it.

The other thing I'm changing is how I nurture Max. Max now has full access to me whenever he wants it while we are together. I will never shew him away if I'm making dinner etc. I'll pick him up whenever he pleases. I will explain everything I do by talking or singing and give him things to do that challenge him while he's with me. For example, help mommy put the plate away, or help mommy put the dirty clothes in the washing machine.

This slows me down considerably but is so worth it. I've already noticed such a change in Max. I'm saving results for the next post but it is really amazing.

This isn't to say I was ignoring Max before and shewing him away all the time by any means. I've always made time for him everyday for reading, cuddling, singing, dancing etc. It's just that before I did it all on my own schedule and I would send Max to daddy so that I could get dinner etc. done more quickly. Now I realize that Max needs me when he needs me and daddy when he needs daddy and it's up to him right now.

It's widely known that humans learn more in the first five years of life than at any other time. So many pathways and sections of the brain are wide open and soaking it all in. We have our brains for the rest of our lives but they will never be as open as they are at this critical stage of development. That's why it's so important to be diligent and present in the moment and give them every possibility of reaching their full potential. I have know this and most people know this but it is so worth mentioning and thinking about and reminding myself.

It's so much more than just assuring success or intelligence. It's about assuring confidence and happiness, the ability to love others and how to express emotions. And so much more.

I feel like I want to go on all night about this but it's time to spend time with my husband. Got to run. Things are so much better around here!