Hoping For A Fresh Start

This Friday the Beene's move back to Seattle. We are so excited to move into what we think is a great house. It will be so wonderful not to have to have the 45 minute commute each work night with Max.

Developmentally Max is doing about the same. He knows his body parts, toys, household items etc.
You can see such a difference in his attention span when he's had enough sleep! He loves books as most kids his age do and he loves to hear the same ones over and over which can be annoying but shows that he is taking some of it in.

I've been reading a book called The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. We decided to start introducing Max to some of the suggestions in the book and see how it goes before we move into the new house.

I'm pretty happy with how things have gone so far. I have proven to myself that Max does not need to nurse during the night. I've not let him nurse for the past 2 nights for a 6-8 hour stretch. This meant that me or Charles had to get up and stay up with Max rocking him to sleep.

We haven't been doing this recently because since we are both working now we take the easy route which is to let him nurse in bed with me and we all fall asleep eventually. This doesn't always work and has created a lot of problems for Max and us.

It isn't easy to get up at 2 in the morning and rock a crying baby back to sleep and then possibly have to do it again 2 hours later but if it means that eventually he won't need to nurse at night the theory is he won't wake us up and scream for it which is what has been happening. I'm totally surprised that Max will allow us to rock him to sleep without nursing at this point but he's done it twice so it can be done!

Our plan has been to get to bed early at about 9 or 9:30. This is absurdly early and hard to fall asleep at that time but I think it has helped. The quiet time is really nice even if we have to whisper and barely move.

That bring me to the last point. Logistically our rent house sucks!!! Max is practically in our bedroom here and if we are in the living room we have to walk through his bedroom to get to the bathroom. So annoying.

But our new house is a real house with separate bedrooms and bathrooms and we are really looking forward to that!

Hard Times

We have been going through a difficult stretch as far as Max's sleep is concerned. Basically, Max sleeps anywhere from 3-6 hours less per day than he should for his age. On the weekends Max only takes a 20 minute nap during the day and then he's up several times during the night. We have tried everything and we don't know what else to do.

This has gone on for the past 2 months. It is really like we are back to infant times with Max as far as sleep goes. It is leaving Charles and I pretty fried. The only time we get to spend time together we spend it zoned out in front of the TV. We talk in a whisper which he hears and usually ends up waking up if we dare bring it to a normal level.

I've talked to some other moms who have sleep issues and we discuss different things to do but if your child doesn't want to sleep there really isn't a solution that I can see, you just try this and that and learn to deal with it until things change.

What adds to our problem is that Max doesn't want to play by himself at home at all. He wants to be entertained by us all day. When I talk to other Moms who's kids take 2-3 hour naps and at Max's age can play by themselves for an hour I can't help but feel frustrated.

What is so strange is that they say at daycare he is doing so well and taking long naps, playing well with others, eating..... Jackie even said he is the only one who helps pick up toys???????

I don't get it. This isn't our experience at home at all.

I'm done venting. Great things are going on developmentally. That's for the next post.

I Give Up

I have given up on trying to wean Max. It is just too hard to deal with him crying if he wakes up during the night which is most (not all) nights at around 11 and then at 4.

If I nurse him for 30-45 minutes we get to sleep the rest of the night. If I don't, we all stay up all night long. Max doesn't give up easily when he wants to nurse.

This has gone back and forth for months. Sometimes I think we're doing good but then we fall back.

I'm just accepting that he isn't ready to stop and I'm tired of fighting mother nature.

Originally, I started to wean so it would make daycare easier but he has been fine during the day when he is at home or daycare or anywhere. It's the night time that he wants to nurse so nursing he will get!

We need our sleep too and it's been causing stress for us for too long!

Good News~ He is still doing great at daycare! Still crying for the drop off but the reports from the teachers are that he is having fun and doing great all day. He's been great at the pickup so I think they are telling us the truth.

Tiny Dancer

Max is doing fantastic at daycare! He only cries for the first 5 minutes and then he is fine the rest of the day. I would never have thought it was possible knowing how he was just before the Christmas break but he has really turned a corner.

I've gone to pick him up at random times on my days off since he's been going every day and he doesn't want to leave. Today, which was a full day, when Charles picked him up he was smiling and wanting to show him the books.

The teachers have been eager to give us the good news everyday and one thing they all comment on is how much Max loves to dance. At home almost every time we put on music he starts to dance but now he's getting groovy at daycare too!

His dancing has expanded from just bending his knees up and down and twirling to doing what we call raising the roof ( putting his hands over his head with his palms up) He also turns his head from side to side.

It is really cute and funny looking so I'm sure they get quite a kick out of it.

We are still working on words and he is showing us more words that he knows everyday. There seems to be 3 or 4 more everyday. Not speaking but fetching and pointing.

Max is also really into hugging now. He ran between me and Charles and hugged us several times tonight. Charles is so happy that Max is has opened up to him. It's really fun to watch them interact.

Turning a corner?

Here is a picture of Max opening a present with Daddy.

I was dreading taking Max back to daycare after the long break since things were not going to0 well there but it hasn't been as bad as I thought.

The report from Charles is that when he has picked Max up this week he wasn't standing at the window crying. He was actually playing with toys and having fun. He was actually playing with the other kids too! So yesterday one of the teachers told Charles that Max has done so much better this week. He has been more involved in what's going on and happier.

He still gets really upset for the drop off but according to Misty (his morning teacher) that doesn't last as long and after 10 minutes or so settles down.

Charles and I are thrilled about this but we have to be realistic. It's only been one good week and as we've learned you can't count on anything with a toddler. We'll see what next week brings.

I can't help but think 2 things really helped Max turn a corner this week.

1. When we discovered that Max knows all the words that he knows I think it lifted a lot of Max's frustrations. I can see a total difference in his personality since this has happened. Even though he still can't communicate his frustrations with words he can see that it's possible to communicate with us. We are doing all we can to make this easier for him. It seems like Max isn't very far from talking. He has a few words now but I mean small sentences.

2. Being with Grandma Phyllis and seeing that someone else was in our house loving on him and feeding him, playing with him etc. For the first time he was really aware of this other person and was really receptive to her.

Soon GJ and Paw-Paw will be coming for a visit and this is going to be so good for Max to have 2 more people to come into his life and love on him. Not that they haven't seen him before but it's building his trust skills now that he is receptive to allowing other people to engage with him in his daily activities. If you entertain and feed him he'll love you so get ready to act silly Paw-paw and GJ!

One last thing. Max has a cute game and it has a name! It's called Duh-Duh. It's a game he plays with his Daddy.

He looks at Charles and laughs and says Duh-Duh. Then he turns and runs. That means he wants daddy to chase him around the house. When daddy catches him he laughs really hard. It's fun to watch.

Exciting news to post about our new house but that will have to wait for now. I've been on the computer far too long and have to get going on other things.